Misophonia: Does Adjusting Your Thinking Really Work?

One of the questions I get asked a lot is whether changing your thinking can actually help with misophonia. And I think the answer is yes—but probably not in the way people assume.

Before I say anything else, I want to be really careful here because I know this is a sensitive topic. I'm not saying people with misophonia cause their symptoms and I'm not saying you can think your misophonia away. But I don't think the only option is avoidance of trigger noises.

When I was first trying to figure out my own misophonia, I read a lot about accommodations. The message I walked away with was basically, "If you don't accommodate, your triggers will expand and you'll get much worse ."

So I started relying on my headphones for just about everything.

I remember one night I was making dinner, and I couldn't find my headphones. There were noises in my house that were really bothering me, but what I remember most wasn't even the sounds. It was the urgency and panic I felt because I couldn't find my headphones.

My thoughts sounded something like:

• "I have to find them."

• "I can't do this without them."

• "If I don't find them, I'm going to explode."

The sounds were hard, but my thoughts were making the whole situation even harder. What I eventually realized was that it wasn't the accommodation itself that was the problem. Having headphones isn't a bad thing. They're a tool, and sometimes they're exactly what I need. The problem was that I'd started talking to myself as though they were the only way I could get through the situation.

In cognitive behavioral therapy, we sometimes talk about demanding language. It's all the "I have to's," "I must's," and "I can't stand this" statements that show up when we're distressed. Those thoughts don't cause misophonia but they can make use feel more trapped.

Over time, I started changing the way I responded to those moments. Instead of telling myself I had to find my headphones, I'd say something more like, "I'd really like to have them right now, but I can am not trapped and I can find ways to meet my needs".

This approach doesn't make the trigger sounds disappear, but it stops turning every difficult moment into an emergency.

Adjusting thinking isn't convincing yourself you're not bothered or forcing yourself into overwhelming situations, it's about noticing when your own thoughts are adding another layer of suffering on top of an already difficult experience.